juSt anotHer blOg

2009-12-03T20:11:00.002+08:00

hello

it's been almost 2 months since i've been here, and i think this is the last post ever i'll put up here.

this blog has been running for, 5 years of my life? thats a long time, and a lot had happened, some recorded, others not. but as jaren once told me "it's time to grow up" so it's time for a change.

i'm starting my pre-registration consolidated posting (PRCP) on 7th dec, and that by itself is a huge change. i'll be experiencing things and performing procedures that will be understood more by fellow colleagues than the layman, especially since i'm posted to a specialized area. which is why i'm shutting this blog down.

i'll still be posting here, and you're welcome to visit if you still wanna know what i'm up to.

hmm..actually i'm not too sure who will be since i dont know who else still reads this blog cos of my non-posting.

but if you do, just come along for a new ride, and if you're starting your PRCP soon too, all the best!

thank you and good night

2009-09-20T10:06:00.002+08:00

after a call

me: do you know the feeling, being sad and thinking it's funny at the same time?
nadiyah: yes..it's called bipolar.
me: ....

oh well, selamat hari raya to everyone, maaf zahir batin :)

2009-09-15T22:38:00.004+08:00

it's almost 3 weeks

and sometimes i dont feel like i'm really here. then it hits me: i'm 6 hrs flight away from home in a room with 2 others. i havent seen my family in almost 3 weeks, and i desperately miss my bed with my multiple pillows who have their own personalities.

BUT things are great here, am having fun and experiencing lots of interesting stuff and cultures. plus i've had more ice-cream this past weeks then i've ever had in the past months. including 2 cones of 32cm ice-cream!

as soon as i find my card reader, i'll show that am not bluffing abt the ice-cream length.

meanwhile..

wanna guess where we are in this pic? :)

2009-09-05T01:16:00.002+08:00

pseudo-tweet

she:
:has visited 4 beaches of sydney so far and a 5th one later on today
:learns the importance of assertiveness in the OT
:feels so grown-up as she managed to keep a steady stream of conversation going with an aunt she's never met
:understands why malay malaysian feels so strongly about the bumiputera policies now after that conversation
:had the MOST FANTASTIC seafood dinner ever
:feels that sydney is cheating her of daylight hours
:miss eating rice
:discovered short cut method of making mac&cheese due to pure laziness
:loves OT very much but do wishes she's doing some nursing procedures
:is annoyed that she cant access mediacorp radio cos they took it down
:is still waiting for her money!!

2009-09-01T15:02:00.009+08:00

sydney: day 5

today is the first day of spring, says the news anchor. let's hope she gets the message.

today's the first day of posting in THEATRE :D. unfortunately tomomi and i are posted to the ortho ot, which means bones, bones and more bones. it is though, enough to cement my want to work there. well at least there in the sydney theatre, havent seen how dear ol' s'pore will be like.

us in scrubs!

i think this posting is THE most flexible ever. they can easily swapped you around (was in ED, then neuro ICU but then placed in OT when i expressed my interest in it, how cool is that??), and apparently, there's no fix timing. well there's suppose to be, and shift is suppose to last for 10hrs each (fri-sun off! whee!) but helen (the facilitator) very casually pull us away early to meet up with the UoSyd students and telling us "not to worry, be more relax cos we arent paid for this anyway". so thats how tomomi and i find ourselves to be leaving early tmr again to meet the students again, who will be taking us to the beach! imagine swapping attachment for beach in s'pore. unimaginable isnt it?

i'm not too sure if that paragraph makes at all sense cos am very fuzzy at the moment. had just woken up and is all alone in the dorm cos my 2 roomies are in the afternoon and i'm in the morn. nice to have SPACE all to myself for once, even with cool relaxed roomies like this 2:

the surrogate mother and the other seah.

other ppl who's here too:

ellen, who seems to have stolen doraemon's pocket

tomomi who cant make sushi

sarini who has a chef friend who becomes our impromptu guide

and me! very happy in the OT

observed total knee replacement today. it was GOOD although wince-worthy cos of the roughness. and the surgeon was UBER NICE!! he played songs, real songs with abba, the fray, savage garden etc and he sings along, and got mercilessly teased for hitting the falsetto notes on 'truly madly deeply'. he doesnt rem some of the instrument names and asks for 'doo-dad', 'long tubey thingy' and 'thingamajid' and surprisingly the scrub nurse knows what he wants. when she doesnt, he strolls over to the equipment table and just points it out for her.

hopefully my ot week in ttsh would be as great. well one can hope ya?

2009-08-20T19:20:00.000+08:00

blogger is still crazy

LAST LAST LAST exams before graduation!!! no more exams till degree/advanced dip (whichever comes first).

so..guess who's still not studying? :) well it's not my fault that management is SOO boring!

been having really weird dreams lately, dreams of having to go for op. it's either i have too much OT in my mind, premonition that i'll actually get to spend 1 mth there, or that it'll be majorly featured in the upcoming exams, i dont know.

speaking of 1 mth, am still NOT packed, i dont think i'll ever finish packing till like 10 min before i go out the front door. and as excited as i am to actually go there, am not really looking forward to leaving IMMEDIATELY after the exams..it's literally 14hrs after my last paper ends and i'll be on the plane!

oh wells..

i just hope it wont be too cold there.

2009-07-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

something is wrong with blogger

did you ever notice people pay more attention to you when you're happy?

or maybe they're just staring and wondering why this girl is just grinning away like a kerang busuk. lol

tickets and visa are finally DONE. left accomodation and insurance, hopefully by tmr.

flight QF32
28th aug
0940 term1

not much time to pack considering paper ends on 27th aug at 1800. and not much time to spend with my pillow!! ~sigh

anyhow, will be back by 1st oct 2145pm. hopefully there's still some kuih raya left in this country.

i got to see service recovery in action on tuesday! highly useful for presentation =) added bonus: now when i see a doctor hunt for a 'running vein' (poke in one needle, no blood come out, in the same hole, manipulate the needle direction till you hit a vein) i can really emphatise for the pt.

cant wait for fri to end my fyp. plus an5 immediately after. will be celebrating by watching the always sexy, ever hotness johnny depp!

see, even when life sucks, it doesnt. :D

2009-07-12T00:53:00.002+08:00

because LIFE. IS. GREAT!

no matter how hectic and sometimes sucky things are

i wouldnt trade my life for anyone else's.

Climb up over the top.
Survey the state of the soul.
You've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying.
Why not give it a shot?
Shake it. Take control and inevitably wind up
Find out for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you.
-jason mraz, song for a friend-

2009-07-05T21:58:00.002+08:00

8 more weeks

it's raining in july. school re-starts tmr thank god. elearning is a lame excuse to get an extra week off. i cant wait for august just so all my projects, lab tests, theory tests, and fyp would be over and done with. exams seems like such a sweet small price to pay to get away from all that.

having said that, i'm not really looking forward to term ending as it's our last ever sem in sch. the remaining 6 months - oipp, ot, ed, prcp. in that order i think.

and as excited as i am abt aussie, am NOT prepared to spend 4 weeks with 5 others whom i barely know in a different country.

there's still lightning even though the rain has stopped. lightning without thunder is making me suspicious.

i guess i shouldnt have watched that war of the world again.

2009-07-04T22:34:00.002+08:00

nightcrawler

a cat has taken to prowl outside the windows of my home. seeing how the windows are all connected via a narrow landing, it inevitably managed to arrived outside my bedroom windows.

let me tell you, there's nothing scarier than being jerked awake and hearing a cat hiss and spit outside your windows at 5am in the morning.

maybe tonight, instead of slamming my windows shut when it acts up again, i'll make like a dog and bark.

2009-06-02T12:12:00.002+08:00

how am i feeling now?

cold. kinda hungry. slightly nervous.

but also

achy, tanned, and all around great!

plus my quads ache frm jumping yesterday. lesson learnt: just because your aching muscles stop hurting and you can continue with your daily activities doesnt mean that they are ready once again to endure the same strain that leads to the ache/pain in the first place.

or am i the only moron who didnt know that?

but who cares. i'm tanned (dark), stamina-ed (increasing at least), and i have a legit sports injury!

i dont know why but that gives me such a sense of accomplishment :D

2009-05-21T20:15:00.002+08:00

if april was for fun, then may is the month for idiots

the role of a leader, as has been preached to me countless time, is to lead her/his people, nurture their talents, and inspire them to achieve greatness.

today i learnt that mostly you just have to grit your teeth and pray for patience. so much more patience that if i had to quantify the amount of patience i had to pray for just this week, people would gasp and said in awe "wow that is A LOT of patience".

it's graduation next week! am very happy and proud of sam and da cuz..hopefully i'll be on duty for both days. plus it's also big di's and seri's although i'm not sure when exactly their's are.

i'm black from swimming. or rather learning to swim. at least now it's more of a nice color blend toning thingy instead of a distinct line seprating the blacker skin from the white skin.

2009-05-17T21:41:00.003+08:00

on 15th may 2009, 2336 hr

if i go to hogwarts, i'd be seeing the Thestrals.

2009-05-12T00:47:00.002+08:00

because i didnt want to do tuts

Your Type is INTJ
Introverted 11%
Intuitive 75%
Thinking 38%
Judging 11%

Rational Portrait of the Mastermind (INTJ)
All Rationals are good at planning operations, but Masterminds are head and shoulders above all the rest in contingency planning. Complex operations involve many steps or stages, one following another in a necessary progression, and Masterminds are naturally able to grasp how each one leads to the next, and to prepare alternatives for difficulties that are likely to arise any step of the way. Trying to anticipate every contingency, Masterminds never set off on their current project without a Plan A firmly in mind, but they are always prepared to switch to Plan B or C or D if need be.

Masterminds are rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population, and they are rarely encountered outside their office, factory, school, or laboratory. Although they are highly capable leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once they take charge, however, they are thoroughgoing pragmatists. Masterminds are certain that efficiency is indispensable in a well-run organization, and if they encounter inefficiency-any waste of human and material resources-they are quick to realign operations and reassign personnel. Masterminds do not feel bound by established rules and procedures, and traditional authority does not impress them, nor do slogans or catchwords. Only ideas that make sense to them are adopted; those that don't, aren't, no matter who thought of them. Remember, their aim is always maximum efficiency.

In their careers, Masterminds usually rise to positions of responsibility, for they work long and hard and are dedicated in their pursuit of goals, sparing neither their own time and effort nor that of their colleagues and employees. Problem-solving is highly stimulating to Masterminds, who love responding to tangled systems that require careful sorting out. Ordinarily, they verbalize the positive and avoid comments of a negative nature; they are more interested in moving an organization forward than dwelling on mistakes of the past.

Masterminds tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals, having usually developed a very strong will. Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.

Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, Dwight D. Eisenhower,General Ulysses S. Grant, Frideriche Nietsche, Niels Bohr, Peter the Great, Stephen Hawking, John Maynard Keynes, Lise Meitner, Ayn Rand and Sir Isaac Newton are examples of Rational Masterminds.

seems like i'm in good company..i knew there's a reason why i love love love ayn rand! :)

do the test http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp here and tell what you are!

2009-05-10T19:45:00.002+08:00

that thing in the swimming pool

i went to the library today. amidst browsing through the shelves and wishing that the selections are more varied, i saw this guy.

what made me stop short and retrace my steps was not because he was cute (he was), or because he was tall and nicely built (he definitely was).

it was because he smells of chlorine.

i blame it on the aborted plans to go soak in some myself this morning (darn rain). i want to spend more time in the pool. i want to learn simple strokes. i want to leave all my projects and works and just float around in the pool.

but of cos i cant.

it's the 4th week of sch. amazing how time flew by. weird thing is, i dont remember being THIS busy in year 2, and we had more modules then. it is very sad when your classes end at 9am (yes NINE A.M.) but you have to be cooped up in the library with huge oncology and palliative care books instead of immediately hitting the track or cannonball-ing into the pool.

the only good thing about this is that am not alone.

bleah~

2009-04-30T19:53:00.002+08:00

another 11 more mths till we meet again

hopefully.

april has once again been unpredictable. erratic weather: blazing sunshine. sudden thunderstorms. gale. swine flu. change of subgrp with new members. fyp. super thick module notes. extremely early classes(8am monday to friday!).

but because it is april, things have been great too. OIPP. nice lecturers. re-starting running 4 times a week (3 years of fat to run off is no joke). reaping the after endorphins of running. re-starting healthy eating. having fun with OT. and the 8am classes mean i'm able to watch the beautiful sunrise on the foggy water banks along SLE and admire the sun without hurting my eyes.

plus peg gave me a ferris wheel model which i can fix and paint!

2009-04-22T20:09:00.003+08:00

31st aug till 25th sept

it's no germany but it's still fantastic! plus as an added bonus, NO GERON POSTING!!!!

2009-04-12T21:24:00.006+08:00

2 slices of cake

a beautiful night

what makes sch fun

cat on a car

a DECADE of friendship

2009-04-06T00:17:00.003+08:00

2 years more till quarter of a century

boy thats a lot of candle.

2009-04-02T17:13:00.002+08:00

hello? it's APRIL!

this post would have been up yesterday had there not be a threat of some virus that was suppose to be unleashed and i dont wanna take any chances because i'm using vivien and sch is starting soon and i cant afford to enter year 3 without a pc.

April, Dear April

April, dear April, I beg you come soon
And bring your sweet primroses too:
Let them join in with the daffodils’ play,
As clear skies bring sunshine anew.

April, dear April, my blessed spring child,
Ornate in your yellow and white,
Teasing the birds into trilling their songs
And dancing to music of flight.

April, dear April, come enter my dreams
And rid me from cold winter chills.
Banish the rain and those blustery winds
And warm up our countryside hills.

April, dear April, I know you can’t stay:
You have to move on ‘till next year.
Though I shall cherish the glory of summer
You’ll always be my month most dear.

- Mark Slaughter

2009-03-17T11:01:00.002+08:00

the thing that we dread the most

will cause some relieve when it comes to pass.

internet is back!!! and how did i celebrate? by checking results in the nail-bitingly slow upload-ation of the school server (curse you slow govt website!).

and....

back in the list, i think. GPA dropped (nnooooo!!) but at least there's no C. wahaha there's actually a B+ for psycho when we used the wrong model in andy's and poorly explained one in chinchin! and another B+ for lab when i should have rightfully failed!

thank you written papers!

2009-03-14T12:12:00.007+08:00

Saturday the 14th

it hit me this morning, hard.

i'm NEVER going to CGH for attachment again.

it's rather sad, cos my BEST attachment was in Wd 36 (otho ward!! i love). the staffs are nice, and there's sunnyra too ;). i love the people i'm attached with, although some do makes me feel like beating them over the head just to see if anything will penetrate through their troll-like skulls, but better the devil you know eh? and my very handy, about 95% reliable Seah-clopedia! a nursing guide that no students should go without lol

recap of past 3 weeks:
compared to 36, 29 was strangulation. supervision, supervision, supervision. we cant serve meds (wth), we cant look at the meds, we cant even breathe in the same direction at the med trolley. sister A is really a legend among the students.

but mdm noraini more than made up for that by being THE BEST CI i've ever had!

she's funny. she helps, she takes our side, she lets morn shift ppl sleeps in 'student roll-call', she's extremely extremely patient. especially with whatshisname. and seriously, if you work with whatshisname you need tons and tons of patience. i think it just shows how much she cares when she didnt break down in tears after countless repetition and demonstration and he still told her ultrasite needs proper placement on the chest. plus she bought us cake on our last day! :)

i'm gonna miss her! ok now back to the recap.

lets see now..i saw my first dead body there. many people went into the light in this medical ward. oh i've also learnt that if you want to die of something, dont let it be a respiratory disease. the sheer torture of just trying to get air into the lungs should put smokers off the death sticks if they see the pts. honestly, the only thing they have the energy to do is breathe. which is sad.

ok happy thoughts now. oh yesterday i have one who was struck by lightning! it sounds cool but the only injury is slight. BUT that spawn out stories on our own experiences with electricity, and we had a good 10-15 minutes laugh at an EN's electrocution by washing machine story (where she re-enact the trembling and stuff it's bloody hilarious).

funny story! the one time me caleb and nad tried to re-do pt's drip, she laughed so hard her stomach hurt. i think thats when she dislodged her stone, thats why they cant find anything during the u/s.

oh and we called doctors! revenge for peg, our parting gift to you :) too bad we couldnt try the 'chapati' thing lol. anyhow, doctors! yes, integral part of medical care. ok they're ok, no visual desserts this time unfortunately. i've decided that i dont like new doctors because they dont know and make you panic in their dont-know-ness (like whaat..)

thats it for 29 really, and apparently, thats it for CGH. pictures!!

my favourite seniors in 36!!

Wd 36 funners! no such word.

ancient yr 1 attachment photo. we were so innocent and had no idea what was in store.

and now it's 5 weeks away from yr 3! where there will be 6 months of sch, 3 months of PRCP, 3 months of miscellaneous attachments and holiday before we are all unleashed into the medical society as....

but before that, we hafta get through *aacckk* tuesday *auugghrr* which is *noooooo!* results day.

feel my joy

2009-02-21T14:42:00.003+08:00

eyeache

another intermittent dance with internet connection.

am playing chauffeur again today. it's all good. after all, i've only almost caused an accident once.

wish am back home though. so badly want to doze off. it's not so much of sleeping late that bugs me but the waking up early, or rather earlier. with attachment re-starting on monday, the only day i can sleep in soon is thursday. nice..

i cant believe he is engaged! my longest lasting celebrity crush..who am i suppose to change vivien's background to now?? *grump*

exams are over, and from the look of it, i think i can say auf Wiedersehen to germany *sad*

movies..i wanna watch movies.

2009-02-07T18:18:00.002+08:00

cloudy skies and runny nose

it's less than 6 mths, and i'm sick again. honestly, all these trips to the hospitals are making my immune system go out of whack. *sniffles*

ok attachment ended yesterday. no more early morning or late afternoon doses of Vit D for me. and we didnt get to do the poking test! *grump* never mind, maybe he'll be around the next attachment. which is 2 weeks from now. the 2 weeks being exam period. have i mention i have flu?

it's bloody freezing now. the only reason am not huddled under my blanket at home (modem is still spoiled sigh) is because i've been nominated to be uncle's designated chauffeur for the day. which is good cos i got to go on the PIE/BKE twice today and more later. but bad cos am feeling woozy. woo..

back to school on monday. attachment really was great. and my case study really loves me! lol. but it's really great to take a break from the senior manager and acting sister. hope my next partner would be better.

ok thats all the duration my attention can spare right now.

i wanna sleep!!

2009-01-22T19:02:00.002+08:00

Miss Star, Madam Moon, and Dr. Sun

*winks*

one word: sleepy
second last day of second week. time flies this attachment, seriously. or maybe i'm just enjoying myself more this time round.

CNY is coming. hope some of my pts would be tranferred/d/c while i'm gone. except for my case study, since am not done yet.

but it's gonna be a busy weekend. out mini shopping tmr, picnic with isk and friends on sat, and shab's engagement on sun! :)

and the best mini epic i overhead at the lobby this week has got to be this:
Woman: which bed and ward? because we cant find A.
Man: hang on let me check...oh wait. A is at SGH.
Woman: SGH!!!! (insert some choice swear words here)

lol

2009-01-14T18:59:00.002+08:00

11/1/09

Fact one: I’ve had a great day every time Chelsea lost a match.

Weird but this is strangely true. Ever since the 2008-’09 season started, things are great whenever they dropped points. Like getting my license the day after they lost to some lousy team. And passing tests.

So it wasn’t so bad when I woke up to weiqi’s gloating sms (although there was some satisfaction in just pressing the delete button to that msg), cause the first day of attachment was great! The ward was pretty cool, the CI is one of the nicer ones I’ve had so far, and the staffs aren’t that stressed out, hence friendlier and more approachable. Plus there are PRCP students around = alternative resource from the staffs.

And I’m sure there’s a big purpose in the grand cosmic convoluted plan for making me be in the same team with Sam and Quil for first 2 weeks, and just Sam for the last 2. After all, things are pretty optimistic so far. We shall see how things go, and whether my initial silent scream of horror was an overreaction, or a prophecy of whats to come. After all, I can’t keep on wanting Chelsea to lose just to have things go well.

Further updates:

ok it's going to take some time to get use to some procedures. and sadly i have to work on suppressing nausea again. maybe i can sneak a maxalon off the shelfs next time.

things have been ok so far. work mostly with sam. and thats saying a lot since mostly am with the yr 3s. being in b class is pretty cool really. there's actually time to tag along on doctors' round, something that is an extreme luxury reserved for the staff nurses in c class. even then, they barely had time to attend all since doctors, like locusts, come in swarms. and there's only so many places SNs can be at one time.

speaking of doctors, the ones i hoped to see again arent around! *sad* but but but, there is the funny crazy doctor from my obs posting, this super rude doctor, also from obs, and this pretty hot doc. :) hot as in not that cute, but buffed and tan like a dragonboater. so i guess i still have my "nice, cute, and arrogant doctors" again. oh and there's this paramedic.....

enough abt attachment for now. no jinxing! weird dream time! ok not really, but the day after open house ended i had this great dream of soaking in a hot tub with hot water. twas' extremely relaxing that i even felt less achy when i woke up.

pretty cool what kinda dreams can help you along huh? :)

psst! i wanna watch the match on the 28th! anyone free to go with me?

2009-01-11T19:12:00.003+08:00

hello 2009

well, am a little late starting '09 on blogger. i blame my modem which decided to end its life few weeks back. so until march, i'm probably only going to be online in sch on weekends. so, to all the people i've been meaning to chat to, so sorry!

sooo...what i have been up to in the past 11 days of this clean and shiny new year. well today is sunday. i've just ended 3 days of full shifts for open house, 9 hrs, 12 hrs, and 9 hrs respectively. that was a lot of standing. and smiling. consider it practice for attachment tmr, which is monday. but back to open house first.

ok it wasnt the easiest i had done. not because of the work but because of the people. way too many people. i close my eyes at night and still see the crowd. enough to make one agrophobic.

BUT i've made friends too. in no particular order: azilaaziraestherfionadavidsaidkatshanelennycassandra
christinashawnratinaweiqimabelevejumiiskandararief
phuayunrongshaoyunjessicayittathiroshiyatiyantihanisirfan
andreashikinpeixin
there's more but i have forgotten.

speaking of new people, too many people remind me of iskandar lately. which is why am uber glad to meet the real one today, albeit briefly. :) time to do some catching up before attachment steal me and my soul.

what i have learnt so far: change. i think thats what the theme is for this year. that and pure hard work. especially if i really want to go, if i want to do more. oh and being broke. but it'll be worth it! especially if i do get it :).

here's to hoping, and more hoping!

2008-12-27T00:10:00.002+08:00

on the second day of christmas

meet my newest toy, ISAAC. no reason why his name in CAPS. anyhow he's much nicer in real life.

but you know what happen after i got ISAAC?

i cant find my card reader.

-.-" to the extreme.

2008-12-24T16:39:00.002+08:00

Dear Santa,

I know everyone says this to you, and it is rather cliche. So i suppose I'll say instead, I've not been that bad of a girl this year. In fact, I think I've been rather good.

I have not lose my temper with the clowns am surrounded with. I try to do the best I can. I help others as much as I can, and I even embarked on missions to help myself. It got slightly derailed, but I want to restart them, and I will too. Ok, I still procrastinate, but hey, doesnt everyone?

So..if you do have a file on us all, I think you'll agree too, that I dont deserve coals in my socks this Christmas. So here's my wish list:

1) Stop the war
2) Make global warming disappear
3) Let the scientists get new ideas on how to cure AIDS and cancer
4) No more poverty on Earth
5) Strong capable leaders at the helm of every country
6) Tolerance and humor for everyone

Not unreasonable eh Santa dear? Surely am not the only one who wishes for all these things? It's all working towards the peace on earth and goodwill to all men theme.

Anyhow, thats my generalised wishes. Personally, I want better grades, smooth attachments, and oh yeah, Hayden Christensen wearing a bow. Failing that, maybe something local? Like say, one of the national team player sans family all nicely wrapped up just for me!

Have a safe drive! And remember to check your blindspots for passing planes

2008-12-21T23:47:00.019+08:00

how i spent my sunday

or rather, i should have gotten my %^%@$%$^&* camera fixed!!!

singapore die hard fans

warming-up

even the men in black arent spared

attendance = 48,000

full house..oh those are enthu vietnamese fans btw

natinal anthem..sang loudest i've ever heard in my life

sharing a moment of patriotism

short prayer

and we're off!

not much after this because i was too busy either a) cheering, or b) cursing. the cursing part was the best! one of the benefit of multi-language society is learning the different curse words and we made use of so many. oh, in case you watched the match on tv and wondered what the spectator yelled after every 'teet, teet, teet teet teet!', it's b*toh ;P

of course the ever favourite 'referee kayu' was yelled out, even 2 hours before the actual kick-off. turns out that practice was useful because they really were blind! that was a blatant step on the player dude! wave the red card already!!

a conclusion i drew from the match: having a portugese coach will result in his players emulating the famous antics of cristiano ronaldo. seriously, there was too much rolling around on the pitch, even from the goalkeeper.

not very gentlemanly were they? deliberate execution of dilly-dallying.

still, i enjoyed the match very much. too bad abt the poor pic quality. would love to have a picture of certain players ^^. this coming payday, i'm DEFINITELY getting my stupid camera fixed.

till next time

2008-12-18T23:18:00.002+08:00

no mean feat

if i had not been in the library, if i wasnt too blurred off from staring at the screen, i would have played this. loud.

So you're tired and you're beat
And you've work all week
And you need a place you can let it go
Where the girls go wild and the boys play hard
And you need a little more than just the radio
Well here's your open invitation
With just a couple regulations
Let me warn you son only come to have fun
We don't take kindly to serious
So leave your troubles at the door unless you want some in here

Welcome to my house, buckle up tight
Everybody sings and drinks and laughs and get high
It's a country music, a little soul
It's a rock and roll rodeo
We don't tolerate no sitting around
Everybody's dancing grooving getting on down
So before you come in here with some kinda attitude
You better read the house rules
-Kane, The House Rules-

no kidding. 4 projects in 4 days is some kind of record. although am especially miffed (to put it lightly) that one is down with a 'viral fever'. i wonder if its ebola or SARS.

but right now, dont care, dont care. i'm done. i'm extremely proud of the work rate, extremely glad that it's over. it's time for MY break, and am NOT coming back to school anymore during the hols, EVEN ON THE PAIN OF DEATH.

did i mention i even managed to squeeze in a 2km run in between that hectic hectic schedule? ok 2km is not much but going from 0 to 2km in one day is not a very easy feat when you have not exercised in a couple of years. but i did it and survived and well, quote the entire health belief model here if you want, but bottom line is:

i want to do it again.

2008-12-16T08:22:00.002+08:00

it's 8.22 am on tuesday

and i'm already in school! enthusiasm of the extreme kind, especially during the holidays..not.

actually i made plans to conduct our self-declared healthy living program with my friend but she's not here yet because she went for a walk around her estate, got lost, and just reached home.

it's mean to laugh at foreigners but i just cant help it. :D

meanwhile, it's still an hour before my grp meeting, and am starting to feel like some enthu PRC student! not not not a good thing.

which reminds me, i need to stuff some stuff into the locker for further usage tmr.

2008-12-15T01:05:00.002+08:00

huh

a more apt title i think would be unexpected answers to questions i didnt even think to ask. just shows how innocent i still think of my friends.

it's 1.10 in the morning and i'm still awake because my hair is wet because i washed it because it got dirty from the smoke and rain at yan's bbq. also there's a chelsea match going on (1-1 currently)

fri sheesha, which was great as usual, except for the sheesha part which totally stink. and am highly suspicious abt naweewee right now. perfect end to that night? that the minor substance abuse consolidated that no matter what i say, i'm still not okay abt the screw up. another interesting dream to tell nadiah.

sat food at satay club was bad. as in BAD bad.

sunday's attempt at fashionably late was totally dissed when we were FIRST instead. (lol drogba just tripped over his own legs!) but it was good to see the guys again :) although jas is turning into quite a party pooper, saying "nnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" everytime we wanna do smthg. and i think the more apt word jas, is 'speculate' not 'judge', necause we dont honestly give 2 cents abt them.

half an hour more of the match and there's sch in 7-8 hours time. aint wanna talk, just hope can finish 2 projects tmr. i do actually want to enjoy my holiday, irregardless of what the meighbourhood agoraphobia insinuate.

i actually managed to voice out a teeny part of my feelings today. boy that felt good.

roster's out and am back at cgh! it's kinda bad news good news thing. bad news is i need to go to ttsh to be assimilated to the environment and culture. having to do that only during prcp sucks big time. good news is cgh is nearer, am more used to things there. there's always lots to do, and lots to learn (ooh someone seems to have given terry a cut on his nose!), and basically the word busy is just skimming the surface of the actual well, busy-ness. plus the ice lemon tea there is awesome and the lack of proper food outlet means weight loss is a guran-damn-teed. i lost 2.5 kg in 3 weeks there! now i'll be there for 7 weeks!! with exams in between too! and the best part is, one of the ward is adjacent to my previous posting I THINK so so so there's a chance to see the hot, the nice and unfortunately, the arrogant doctors again.

(aaarghh! why are they sub-ing my joe cole??!! exchange with kalou?!) gosh it didnt stop raining today at all. here's an unexpected phrase: closet romantic.

dangnamit! i knew they shouldnt have taken joe cole out! a draw when they could have capitalized!!

2008-12-10T10:45:00.002+08:00

do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do

any recommendations for nice songs? preferably ones that do not shriek in my ears and are ideally good to drive to.

2008-12-04T21:01:00.002+08:00

lucky thursday

1. i honestly didnt deserve to pass clinical prac today. lack of concentration made me do STUPID mistakes, which all cumulate to my picking the wrong marking criteria to be assessed against. lucky she noticed. and lucky she's like, way too lenient.

2. for someone who had an emergency crash course of statistics 24hrs before the test itself and spending the whole test blank and fully ready to accept that she has to sit for supp paper for the first time ever, it's a complete miracle to actually get B for both sections. and i just realised that that is a long sentence. which am not sure if it makes sense. here's a short one then. heck.

3. killer project finally over, and after yest's scare that we were out of pt (frm viewing other grp's layout), it was a VERY pleasant surprise to know that the teacher is actually quite please with the 'freshness' of our project. that she never expected us to pull through with it, but we did. relevantly.

i think today happened such because it's just to mean to not balance out all the crap we've had to go though. :)

yay laws of balance!

2008-11-29T00:10:00.002+08:00

its too good to NOT take advantage of

*gleeful*

ahem..today's incredible moment was....

ask not whom the Belle toils, the Belle toils for thee.

lol!

2008-11-26T22:12:00.002+08:00

and all that i saw, just keep going on and on

ok i understand the concept of just do it. stop whining, procrastinating, and complaining. the only way to get over something unpleasant or tedious is to. just. do. it.

but here's what i dont understand. how is it that after WEEKS of just doing it, not even 1 lousy project is completed?

*glum*

it sucks when one teacher dont even know what she wants to see in your slides. the having to second guess whats important and whats superfluous for her is stalling any sort of progress we could have made. which is stupid because adult nursing is one of the easiest project to complete. heck it could eb done in one sitting. but because of HER demand for more information, interventions, and what-not, we have, currently, 32 slides for a 20 min presentation, AND it's not even complete.

at least HE is honest enough in consultation to state that "psychologists are anal". thank you verily for that statement kind sir, am glad you're aware of that fact. i'm not feeling too hard against him though. in fact if he's here would have jumped up and down and pumped his hands with profuse thanks because indirectly, info from his lecture gave me a new lifeline for the big killer.

having to state in-text citation for every bullet point is tedious, not to mention insulting. apparently, we cant state any original ideas in this project. "that's just like copying" said sam and gosh i couldnt agree more. :(

school has lost so much of its fun-ness. the only module i still enjoy is pharmacology.

i want to stop working. i want to spend the time watching vcds. i want to re-watch gilmore girls, all 7 seasons of them. i want to meet up with cassie and the rest and just have a natter. i want to not feel guilty for going home at 6 when projects are due next week on.

i want more time!

2008-11-19T23:50:00.004+08:00

because pressing 'enter' instead of 'space' is much more fun and interesting

this post is dedicated to benjamin
who willingly and sincerely gave me his lucky draw movie ticket
just because i asked if i could have it
(even though we've only known each other for 5hrs)
for missing his own train and waiting for the rest to board theirs first
(even when he's swamp with his own FYP)
him, along with 2 other guys
who offered us their plates and their place in the queue
have proven nadiah and my hypothesis
that no matter how nerdy they look,
guys from other faculties
are WAY MORE GENTLEMANLY
than the ones we're stuck with in nursing :P

onto other news
today i've learnt
that my lecturer loves the word 'alright' so much
that he used it 68 times in a 1hr lecture.
nadiah's sheer cheek and audacity amazed me
when she nonchalantly raised a complaint that we're similarly colored with the dustbin
right after a serious briefing!
but no harm done,
AND she got a 'boyfriend' out of the mess ;)
skinny jeans had a very ouch moment in the lift
when a random girl volunteered hers
after i said i'll ask aound for a stapler to stop her singing
talk abt an l.o.l. moment
hope you arent too sad jeanny :)

i wished i had talked just now
instead of just miming my want
really, i blame the music
so, no name, no talk, no poses for the camera
and knowing my 'fabulous' recognition memory
probably no more

i know i'm not much of a girl
as in, am not that in touch with my girl side
so am seriously hoping am wrong
because am feeling totally crap about the intuition
please tell me am reading the signs wrongly,
that am making a mountain out of a molehill,
that i dont have to run away from something am not interested in dealing.
just tell me how to stop this uncomfortable feeling!

am not interested in childish frivolousness.

2008-11-16T19:28:00.002+08:00

life in a bubble

i've always wanted, to be able to switch life for awhile with 2 people. 1 who is still in this tiny island, and 1 in aussie.

i guess it's cause they're so different from me that i'd like to see, just how life is viewed through their eyes.

psst! the one in aussie is not my dear walrus who is returning this coming sunday although i am mighty glad she'll be back cause then we can have a natter and get generally high on sweet sweet middle eastern desserts and sheesha :)

of course, it's generally not a good idea to reply back "did he?" to a "did i?" qsn. ah well, it's only whathisname anyhow.

week 6 is the beginning of work. or rather work consolidation. wish i have more time to talk to weewee, mansi and nat(esp you!) tho.

maybe i can still sam for lunch instead.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAREN!! AND CHEE WEI (or rather jason) THE DAY AFTER HIS!

2008-11-10T17:52:00.002+08:00

it's only week 5 of semester

but i can honestly say it's one of the worst i've had in my academic career.

definitely can see why so many ppl needed to repeat the modules. it's not so much of the core package are hard as they are being so dreary and dull that they just sap all your energy, leaving you in a confused stupor.

on a slightly cheery news, we finally gave up hunting and farah got me those exorbitant kinder surprise from the cocoa tree. honestly, why is it so hard to get good treats nowadays?

2008-11-08T19:41:00.002+08:00

we're children of history

saturday night live is overrated. saturday night lonesome rocks my socks! well for the next few minutes at least.

i managed to wiggle out of a msia outing today and got the whole house to myself. that is rare. and yes, it's great.

being home alone is just..i dont know how to describe it. it's kinda lonely but somehow liberating. like you could do anything you want, eat junk and have haywired meals. plus i finished 2 books, 4 eps of whose line and a previously recorded 'the island', all in one sitting!

unfortunately all good things have to come to an end with the other 4 speeding back to my empty and peaceful hole.

oh well, at least i still have my own unopenable from the outside room.

2008-10-29T14:06:00.008+08:00

forget da morbidity for awhile

and celebrate with me!!

in a span of 2 weeks, i have passed a small clinical lab test (which is always a good thing just because it's a NURSING LAB practical test)

got on the director's list (which apparently is an equivalent to the dean's list in uni)

and let the record state that today, I....(cue drumrolls)

on my first try too!!!

well alan is happy at least to get to hold on to his record. plus he gave me that triangle sign as a present :) guess he's super happy that his blur-est studdent to date still managed to pass ("yah yah, but today you not so blur").

now that the cash-vampire has been banished, it's time to save for new shelves, new phone and that trip to istanbul! oh and a car. one with windshield wiper in front, at the back, and on the side mirrors. oh and it must have a ship's horn instead of the regular wimpy car horn. that would just be so awesome!

ok i'm done tooting my own horn for now. just have avenue q to look forward to on sunday before back to the grind on monday.

but meanwhile..

2008-10-24T22:12:00.003+08:00

the way you dot your 'i's and cross your 't's

italicize if it applies more..

Welcome Nurul Huda, here is your handwriting analysis.

Nurul uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Nurul does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.

Nurul will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.

Nurul is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

Nurul will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

In reference to Nurul's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Nurul slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.

She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Nurul can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Nurul's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Nurul that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Nurul also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Nurul is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Nurul's self-concept is artificially low. Nurul will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Nurul to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Nurul is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Nurul is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Nurul has a temper. She uses this as a defense mechanism when she doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around her.

Nurul is very self-sufficient. She is trying not to need anyone. She is capable of making it on her own. She probably wants and enjoys people, but she doesn't "need" them. She can be a loner.

Something is incomplete in Nurul's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Nurul's sexual needs.

Nurul is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.

Nurul has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

http://www.handwritingwizard.com/

2008-10-22T20:53:00.002+08:00

"why cant you be like all the other age inappropriate girls and just like me for me?"

so said Dr. House.

getting testy. tesy. test-y. geddit?

too many psycho-socio modules this sem. basically stuffs that i can read for myself, except maybe a few of andy's pts. that need some explainations.

plus 2 lecturer who micromanage us to death. imagine having to go for consultations for part (a) of a tutorial qsn. and another who seems to relish making our lives difficult by throwing what seems to be a barrel of monkey wrenches for every step of an already boring presentation. in-text citation for every single presentation point.

oh come one..

the id wanted to inquire if she wants them for the objective points as well. the superego whispers that i need to toe the line to cont pushing the GPA and stay on that list. the ego just hides her face in her hands and imagines to be in a cafe with good music, good books, and even better people around.

и что это трахает дерьмо о держащих простых словах? если я хочу использовать 26 начитанных слов тогда, которые являются МОЕЙ остановкой perogative. dissing мой словарь и письмо и учиться схватывать вместо этого!

hah!

2008-10-18T14:59:00.002+08:00

"but both arent working anyway"

at the end of this week, i've learnt that i need to step down, and not be combative with him. enjoy the time you idiot!

and there's only 11 days left! am not even thinking beyond the next week (ok except the plans for Avenue Q).

2008-10-13T18:16:00.002+08:00

the cockroach on the LTJ1 wall

it was the third lecture of a very early day. 3 girls were sitting at the side discussing the merits of a bar of chocolate. in the background, their lecturer droned on about landyard flashing and attendance. all in all, it was a normal day back in school.

unknown to the 3 (and 120 other students) a daring cockroach had crept out of it's hiding place. perhaps it was drawn by the smell of macdonald from the restaurant nearby. or mayby a small crumb of biscuit which had dropped on the floor. the cockroach antennaes twitched excitedly and it began to crawl further out.

meanwhile, the 3 girls had finished their discussion and were in the process of sharing the chocolate bar. their lecturer was still going on about attendance ("must tap card....latecomers will be marked absent") as they began a taste analysis of the said bar.

"smells kinda cheap"
"hmm..not bad what, quite nice"
"actually it reminds me of crunch, you know that choc?"
("i'm a good lecturer and i help people get As....there's no surprises in exams....")
"tastes like dark chocolate yeah?"

suddenly a commotion started from the back, and a shrill cry of "COCKROACH!!!" echoed through the LT. all attention was instantly snapped to the back, interrupting the lecturer's dull albeit slightly witty monologue.

"observe my power!" thought the cockroach as it began its slow parade across one wall panel. girls (and gentlemen) from the back were grabbing their bags and hastily hopping to the aisle. "i can make them scream louder" thought the cockroach, and it flew 30cm outwards and landed back on said panel. sure enough, loud, and louder shrieks resulted.

"oh no! flying cockroach!!! dont come here!!" wailed one of the girls. "crap man.." said another, who by this time had adrenaline coursing through her veins (and most importantly, arteries) and was ready to jump out of her seat like, NOW.

slowly, but surely, the cockroach made its stately march across the wall panels, observing and revelling in the screams and mad dash that greeted its journey. even the lecturer, it observed, was powerless as he observed the chaos created by his new students in utter bemusement. fuelled by the din, the cockroach developed grandeur delusion and started an ambitious plan to further terrorise the LT.

"IT'S COMING DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!"

that was it. a small stampede occured as students tried to get away from the disease-ridden pestilence. "can someone PLEASE kill that cockroach!!!"

"fear me mere mortals!" thought the cockroach grandly as it marched nearer towards the humans. still lost in his grandeur delusion, the cockroach brushed aside the plea of his death threat. suddenly *WAAAAPPP!* it's trapped!!

"aaargh!! where am i?? air! i need air!!!"

one of the more manly male student had chivalrously emptied his transparent plastic file and had trapped the cockroach in it against the wall. relieved was short-lived as the others witnessed the attempt to kill the cockroach in disgust fascination.

first the cockroach ran in zig-zag patterned inside the file. then another male student gallantly offered his services to aid in squishing the bug. he tore out the cardboard back of a foolscap to help trap the cockroach in the file before throwing it out. unfortunately this foolhardy plan failed as the cockroach escaped out onto the first warrior's hand before falling on the ground (amidst fresh screams of course)

"freedom!" the cockroach squealed but its euphoria was short lived as the stomping began. valiantly the cockroach tried to escape but its time was up. it was brutally squished under an ugly pair of cheap shoes and was unceremoniously dumped into the dustbin while covered with white paper. it could take heart though. even in death, the cockroach generated much fanfare, albeit there were cheering and catcalling to the 2 modern day heroes.

"is it dead? got anymore? actually am also scared of cockroaches" confessed the lecturer before launching into a lecture "hormones are slow moving and long-term chemical messengers of the body...."

"slow moving my ass.." thought the girl. she was still slightly tachycardic and jittery from the epinephrine trip. but slowly, the enzymes began it's natural course of getting the body system back to normal and she began absorbed into the inner mechanisms of the human body. the slow buzz and lull fell over the theatre as the lecture progressed.

it then began, just another day, in LTJ1.

2008-10-09T18:47:00.001+08:00

rehab

i've been with for so long that i have forgotten how sweet and peaceful it is to go without.

well, almost without i think.

come and get me.. *winks*

2008-10-07T13:39:00.002+08:00

grousing time

because the timetable is out.

3 days starting at 8am! monday lecture with a super boring teacher..at 8am!!! coming to school on wednesday just for 2 freaking lectures!!! and why the research method and statistics module???!!!

*grump*

all the same, i cant wait for school to start..staying at home equates to snacks galore equates to giving pigs a run for their money.

class bbq tmr. hope it doesnt rain. break on thur *yay!* back to sch to dorothy on fri *sigh*. weewee and nadie on sat! *cheers* and hopefully a slack sunday to gear up for manic monday.

have a nice day y'all

2008-10-05T11:26:00.002+08:00

in the age of body dysmorphia

things we do are mostly for self-gratification. means to better ourselves, to boost our self-esteem. especially if what you do is not easily replicate by the next tom, dick or harry without as much (or more) blood, sweat and tears.

knowing that, and with this being the 5th Syawal, there's plenty of goodwill flowing around.

but still, i'm really wishing the dickhead motherfucker suffer the pain of a thousand hell.

2008-10-01T00:21:00.002+08:00

happy eid mubarak!

hello!

it's 0023 on children's day (that's first oct for the uninitiated), and it's finally hari raya. technically at least.

have to wait for mom to return from aunt's with some carpet *bleah* and am super sleepy. but no matter. tonight is malam raya so there's takbir abundant. real ones, not those on repeat in ntuc *frowns*

it is nice to have some time for myself now, with just the takbir in the background. peaceful.

hope everyone has e great day tmr.

at least, have a happy children's day. :)

2008-09-29T17:28:00.002+08:00

it's less than 48 hour to eidilfitri

and i'm pleased as punch. :D

managed to paint my room! by myself too! of course it helps that my personal domain is like, small. but who cares! room painted, floor vacuumed and mopped, windows wiped, curtains up and junks thrown!

unfortunately the room now smell of paint. and faintly of jasmine air freshener. mostly paint. wonder how many preciouse brain cells have died in the process, and which part is now cell less.

i really wanna watch more house right now.

can i just say how wrong it is to have the takbir raya playing in ntuc right now. it's being treated like another of those hari raya songs when it's not, and it's just so so wrong.

dreams have been weird as usual. have i really change taste that much?

2008-09-26T16:57:00.002+08:00

the incredible static-y uniform

attachment is like OVER. *cheers*

ok, polyclinic was fun, and the ppl are definitely friendlier than in hospital. and funnier! try coming up with a reaction that does not consist of bursting out in laughter when someone looked you up and down and exclaimed "2 feet!"

oh yeah, i've also managed to find out that my retina is healthy. flunk the glaucoma test though, because i kept on blinking (how not to when the machine blew puffs of air at your pupils?). and i think my main lesson frm WSC is that men are itchy....

there's smthg wrong with my uni honestly. it's full of static electricity, and i have no idea why.

AND, thanx to being in a different group, i got the name!

2008-09-22T20:14:00.002+08:00

"must wear gloves because of milk products"

well how to NOT enjoy the poly postings with comments like that flying around? lol..am especially tickled by the "crooked ugly stiches done by half-blind surgeon" conversation.

dressing room was definitely a hit. :)

con: freezing temperature. i have no idea why. and we can only wear white cardigans/jacket as a measure to thwart the cold. sigh~ i suppose i could throw my black one into a tub full of bleach. but more likely i'll ruin a perfectly good set of cargidans. oh well..freezing one's arse off do help in weight loss..all the shivering and foot stomping and what-not.

my room is half empty! and by the end of this week there's only gonna be my clothes cupboard and my bed in it. hopefully the wall would also be a different color. yup, i've FINALLY undertook the groom-my-room quest. threw out a hell lot of stuffs. too many, but somehow not enough.

cant wait for $$ for new furnitures!

i'm blogging because i'm bored. should continue the quest but tonight is self-designated email and internet night. plus my mp3 needs recharging. dont ask the link.

i miss watching House. and i just realized that in 3 month's time, i had not touch a comb for a full year! that's like some record or smthg. i love short hair :)

ok, i think i'll go do more psyche therapy on soft toys. have helped the hippo and crocodile so far..maybe i'll work on the sheep today..

2008-09-19T14:46:00.003+08:00

time: 2.47 p.m.

realized lately been posting a lot on driving. cant be helped, it's like what i'm orbiting around now. anyhow, he was a complete meanie today, kept on laughing at this poor guy who hit the kerb (curb?) thrice while doing reverse parking. apparently he was being tested at that time as well.

alan: see, itu orang bodoh! never sit properly!
me: no lah, see he go in just nice.
alan: where got just nice! hit again! (laughs)

lol..sad thing is i saw another testee hitting the pole while parallel parking. definitely not a good day to take TP (no la..for me everyday is good day cause all my students pass on first try!)

save us from the arrogance of man.

i need to start clearing up my room. and clearing out from the looks of it. things thats not relevant and kept for pseudosentiment reasons: keychains, stickers, sticks, unused postcards, badges..

but lazy la. lazy to move, lazy to sort through stuff (7 years of accumulated stuffs is no joke), lazy to battle the fierce dust bunnies (ferocious creatures they are).

but if i dont, where the heck am i gonna put next sem's modules??

time: 3.07 p.m.

2008-09-15T23:21:00.002+08:00

4-D jitters

jitters, litters, mitters.

crap.

midnight cant come fast enough.

and i'm cranky because i want this

really badly. which says a lot because i've been a nokia girl since the dawn of time. but this is sooo pretty!

but can i have that? noooo, of cos not. why? because i spent all my money (and then some) on this!

and no, i dont mean the movie itself.

if ever i need a motivation to pass the stupid test the first time (which btw is what my instructor want, not because it'll be better for me, but so that he can keep his record of having all students pass on first try), all i have to do is think of all the nice stuffs that i want but cant have because of the financial black hole known as driving lessons.

ok 3 more minutes.

anyhow, it's not just the 300++ phone that i want but cant get. now at least.

i want this

although maybe not so high

this

and this!

ok, it's not so much of wanting, as it is of wanting to go there. it's istanbul ladies and gents, and plans for that is currently shelved due to event as in picture 2.

it's 15 min passed and i cant go in!

anyhoo...been catching up on my readings lately, and thats a big thumbs up for me. learnt more abt sleep, specifically REM sleep, and how it's supposedly helps in knowledge consolidation and what-not.

especially like the what-not part. at least it gives explaination for vivid dreams involving mental patients, hitler, my missing attachment shoes, missing china guy, and crying over edward. various permutations, not all at the same time.

and also, thanx to reading, i finally found out whats the name of this phenome!

crepuscular rays! pretty arent they?

i think they do this on purpose to increase our cortisol level *frowns* well it's working!!!

nvm..there's always tmr as in really tmr..

how do ppl get their 4-d numbers so easily?

2008-09-08T20:33:00.002+08:00

do you believe in dreams?

things in Dreamland have been prett-ty weird last 2 days. weird and sad. it's like ppl, whom i care abt are going through unusual things, and waking up, i wonder if it's true. it's even discouraging when dreams end with a "bye nurul".

i suppose i could make contact and check on their status, but feel real silly going "hey i had a dream where you're going for ECT and just wanna check if you're ok". then again..

have driving again tmr. well at least am beginning to enjoy it. especially since alan seems to have taken a happy pill and is not so moody anymore. although that might also have smthg to do with the fact that i'm more proficient wielding that 4-wheeled machine. i still dont understand much of what he says though, but what i do is just plain..well..alan. like his comment on a fat girl that we see on the road (that one fat! i scared later sit in car and suspension break!). well, nadie gets the idea ;)

it's 2 weeks break now before am off to polyclinic. heard it's going to be snooze-worthy. well at least i have ah chuan with me.

2008-09-05T23:32:00.002+08:00

"i have bipolar, schizophrenia, MD, 303....."

it ended! and yes, i did enjoy my time there. most of all, there's a change of perceptions that mental people are not as scary as society makes them out to be.

but the best thing, seriously, is when you've established rapport with one, especially if the patient is socially withdrawn. every painstaking conversations, every time i struggled to come up with a topic to interest him to stay in conversation with me for one minute, just one more minute, pays off dividends.

i felt elated when he actually walked away and expected me to follow instead of leaving him alone. fantabulous when he stated that out of a happiness scale 1-10 with 10 being lowest, he's 8 when he talked with us and getting little treats. floating when he attempted to stop an obnoxious patient from bothering me. flying when he willingly came up to the broup, talked a little AND sang a little. and when he voluntarily sat down for a game of monopoly...

i'll miss him definitely.

there're stories of course (nadie remind me to tell you a new one abt the guy who stalked your friend!!), and lots of funny incidences. plus lots of gross ones now that i think abt it. and we got to see a severe EPSE episode on the last day. now thats bad. really makes you feel sorry for them.

i want to blog more but thoughts are jumping all over the place, especially since it's like almost 1am, so i'll leave it for now.

happy fasting to the muslims btw :)

2008-09-02T21:08:00.002+08:00

cold, wet, tired

wanna read smthg weird? i realized that when i get actually get a full night sleep, everything i touch will be static-y the next day.

gives a new dimension to the phrase fully charged :)

2008-08-26T23:27:00.002+08:00

let's see now..

i've gotten 2 marriage proposals, 1 admirer, 1 who is sad to look at me because i remind him of his sister, 3 in-depth discussion about my race and my looks, 2 very long lectures on why being a nurse is really hard, got my name changed THRICE, 1 suggestion to quit nursing and start modelling, 4 impromtu karaoke sessions 60 cm away from my eardrums, 4 drooly smiles, 2 crisis interventions, 30 minutes of board games with the most amazing chants to the dice, and one very very very fast repetitive monologue (think michael phelps on steroids)..most impressive? that the pt only took 27 breaths in the 5 min that he 'talked' to us.

all that and it's only the second day.

2008-08-23T22:03:00.002+08:00

less than 48 hrs to attachment

and i've got a cold..thanx to my brother who managed to circulate his virus around to the family.

sigh~ at least infection control is not the same as in normal hospital.

anyhow this post is to commemerate the achievement of a certain nadirah who managed to pass her manual driving test today! on the first try too! *beams*

2008-08-21T21:08:00.003+08:00

to sum up the semester...

yep, i think she'd be proud..especially since we're nicely rounding up by entering her domain.

and thanx to my being super early for driving, i got an impromtu showcase of our rsaf finest. to my eardrums chagrin of course.

and i'm damn grumpy because for the first time, i dreamt that roman abramovich was my dad, and i was more interested in hiding things from him than asking daddy dearest for moolah for shopping spree!

2008-08-08T20:01:00.003+08:00

of 080808 and tentative formation of SUMNO

is today an auspicious day or what? it was enough for me..to sit for a test after 2 hrs of cramming and churned out a decent ans for SAQ was a miracle..totally tanked the MCQ though..

if your name is natasha, weewee, wei qi, mansai, jaren, cassie, aisyah, sam or isk...

YOU'RE MISSED!!!

it's good to just know there are sanely insane ppl around whom you can count on and blab to even if we havent met up in ages..i didnt know i'm very unavailable *frowns* sorry and will try to meet up more.

take a nice picture?

no thanx!

organised chaos, thy name is us :)

2008-08-05T21:24:00.003+08:00

yay-ness!

my blog is back! with lotsa help and long patient explaination from janey so thankew jane! :D

so an important belated wish, HAPPY NURSES' DAY!!! 'twas on 1st aug for the uninitiated..have you wished any nurses on that day??

oh yeah, i'm FINALLY BCLS certified! *cheers*

and most importantly, after 2 weeks, 2 different doctors, 6 different medicines, i'm finally, finally (i need another word for finally) cleared the URTI!! *ultimate yay-ness*

erythromycin! have you ever seen such pretty antibiotics? i love them!

anyhow, this is probably a post until awhile. exams nest thur for 2 weeks. after that, straight to imh. and during that is fasting month! time flies huh?

hope to see ppl around, anywhere. hope you guys are okie!

2008-07-31T19:28:00.002+08:00

then again...

actually i have no idea how this came back..it's magic!

oh well..things been busy, with mock tests springing out in abundance. plus you know exams are just around the corner when your lecturers insist on playing you motivational slide shows with celine dion blasting in the background.

almost makes me wish exams are tmr.

2008-07-28T20:25:00.001+08:00

sorry no more johnny

i dont know why but they wont show my background anymore!

oh well, out with the old, in with the new eh?

2008-07-27T23:18:00.002+08:00

adventures of the 1st generations anti-histamine

i sat next to a blue monkey and got the Murtabak virus.

well not really. and no there's no such virus. but i do have upper respiratory tract infection from i dont know how. and dont nag, i did go to the doctor yesterday (only because i need to get well by wed for the BCLS test). and it was a funny visit. first i was mistaken for a boy (again..hey weewee, you've seen my new hair, do i look anything like a guy??),and after the mandatory stetoscope on the lung walls thingy, was prescribed paracetamol for a fever which i do not have, chlorpheniramine for a flu which i do not have either, promethazine for cough relief apparently, and these lozenges which melts powder-ily and leave a disgusting aftertaste.

any wonder why people dont like visiting the doctors?

but hey, they're doctors right? so they should know better than me at least on how to treat URTI. so i took the 2 H1 blockers. nothing happened. still coughing, still hurts to take a deep breath, still voice-less, and why is it not even bringing the promised drowsiness??

nvm..anti-histamine needs time to work right? needs a higher loading dose? so we'll up the dose.

and thats where the fun begins. :D

no i didnt overdose, or even became drowsy. but oh yes, they did cross my BBB. the weirdest, vivid dreams which spills into waking. was so disorientated when i woke i actually forgot my own name. how cool was that? :) but it's really disconcerting cos this afternoon's nap after the 4th dosage cycle, it wasnt really a sleep as it was me being in bed aware of me dreaming about a block of wood and the gleefulness as i try to count the number of striations on it. plus i think i talked, or chuckled during the process.

fun with drugs. no wonder ppl use them recreationally. :)

still, i wish they gave me smthg stronger, that'll actually get me better by wed instead of keeping my dream wanderings entertaining.

2008-07-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

thanx to the crazy teachers who manage to make this week surreal.

2008-07-15T20:55:00.002+08:00

vortex

in 'the doll house', the vortex sucks every dream element to her and because of the sheer destruction that she could cause, rose walker had to be killed.

today, for the first time, i actually cared enough to wonder if she's mad at me.

i'm working towards going to istanbul just so i could stand straddling the line separating asia and europe and gleefully shift from one continent to the other.

if it's possible to do that, why is it so hard to straddle against 2 very different ideology? or is that an oxymoronic question in itself?

i wish i wish i wish.

an hour ago i watched this man rolled up a skillet like he would a newspaper. he generated abt 80-90kg of force, 56kg coming from his fingers alone.

as amazing as it is, i cant help thinking 'what a waste of skillet'

happy, yet sad.

but you know what, there's also time to goof off and just laugh.

and that, basically, is the main pt of this blog post.

2008-07-12T22:44:00.002+08:00

toolbox

bus rides are nice. really. especially if there's no jam, the journey is smooth, classicals stuck to your ears, and no irritating neighbors to interrupt your daydreaming.

i thought about it, if i could get pass the grudge and see the good. make amends. unfortunately i cant. not when it's still skin deep.

it's dermatologically impossible.

i keep on thinking about what ibrahim said. that everyone has some form of mental disorder at some point, just that the inmates of imh are more developed in their neurosis/psychosis.

driving lessons and early mornings are getting to me. especially driving lessons early in the morning. and it totally sucks cos all my late school days from lab were non-existent because of the former complaint or projects.

these days, i feel like a screw being tighten slowly, slowly. totally wound up.

2008-07-07T20:02:00.006+08:00

it's what they represent that matter

What Nurulhuda Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

sooo..is that true?

i felt like writing a happy post, abt the trip to sushi buffet and the fun that we had. then i read an angsty blog and i felt like writing 1 too, mostly abt how tired i am of war and how much i'd love to either shake sense into some ppl or smack a person's face.

and then i realized that i just did both.

so here's to me and jump blogging.

too bad he's just a fictional character. he's not up there because wentworth miller is cute, but because michael scofield is most probably one of the best intellect i've ever 'met'. who wouldnt want a guy who's smart, creative, capable, and able to make you observe matters in a different way?

intelligence dont just end there. remember her?

my which-grey's-anatomy-character-you-are-most-liked.

so the theme for now, for always, is intelligence. able. courage. creative. and i try to throw kindness in. but mostly it's intelligence.

i remember 1 person who was pretty smart but crumbled over non-specific pressure. oh the disdain felt! the restrain it needed to not let it show.

you'd never have to apply the SAD PERSONS scale on me. because suicide is a waste of time.

if you suffered a massive cerebral vascular accident and is fully paralysed, would you spend your whole time screaming silently because you've become 'invisible' and powerless?

2008-07-01T20:21:00.002+08:00

between the birdie and "what good would that do?"

today was good considering the irritation of the night and the annoyance of the morning.

but i have to say how much i miss hanging out with them of their color but more like me. mansi, cassie and nattie. heck even ekta, nut, taran and mickey are prototypes of those who are familiar.

is that why i cant stand them now? because they're not what i'm used to?

maybe that's giving them too much credit.

i miss talking to weewee..wonder when she'll be back.

and i miss a friend whom i dont know if i can reach because there's like a chasm going bigger and i dont know if i should cross cos what if i'm not in familiar territories anymore?

here's to malcolm rivers, one sick, twisted, murderous, but way cool human being.

2008-06-30T14:37:00.003+08:00

stress me, stress me not

ok, i'm not happy that germany did not win this morning's match but really, they dont deserve to win..so better luck next time.

i'm so looking forward for this week to end.

and how come i'm suddenly "it?"

2008-06-20T21:24:00.002+08:00

because jorgen von strangle did so

nurul is very happy that germany won the match and justified her having to wake up early to watch the match. however nurul is also slightly sad because it's at the expense of portugal, because how else can she witness such wonderful cristiano ronaldo playacting? then again she suppose thats what youtube is invented for..

also nurul has faced up to the fact that she's not mechanically inclined. her idea of identifying her instructor's car is by color and not model, and seriously, she prefers to be driven, not drive. henceforth, nurul has decided to switch to auto driving, because manual takes a lot of time to master, which she doesnt have. also manual requires alertness, and nurul strongly believes that driving is a cruise action, not a mental exercise.

right now, nurul also wishes she's rich enough to have a private plane for herself. she doesnt have a particular place she really wants to go right now, she just finds the taking off and landing amusing, and wishes to experience them again.

anyhow, nurul hopes to start school soon, just so she could get the tests and presentations over with. however she dont understand the need for others to start studying NOW because face it, you arent really studying. plus it's euro time, and nurul needs her brain cell for more important things like helping her stay awake for early morning games, as well as remembering hot players' names (see it rhymes!)

oh and interesting fact nurul learnt today: arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

2008-06-16T18:31:00.000+08:00

yup it's true

we're all happy people

2008-06-11T20:24:00.001+08:00

for the next few days

messages can be sent via smoke signals.

have a nice shopperific hols!

2008-06-07T00:12:00.002+08:00

teleute

there's no other way to put it..

i'm extremely happy that attachment is over. :)

2008-06-03T21:25:00.002+08:00

all dressed up and no where to go

i thought i should log this in while it's still fresh. after all, how often does one get to witness a murder right?

ok, maybe that is a little too dramatic. after all, abortion is widely accepted, and most importantly, legal. heck even a 14 yrs old can waltz in any women's clinic and get one, no parental consent needed.

i'm not anti-abortion really. i mean it's pretty common especially if one has to choose between saving the mother or the fetus. and some cases, it's better to abort than keep, really. better to return to God all nice and innocent than suffer neglect or worse, abuse on earth right? and just saying it is not very, well real. like oh hey, dont want your baby, abort la. it just doesnt seems real. a ball of cell. a growth.

but this is all before i saw an abortion right in front of me. it was very real. very wet. no blood (thank God). very sad. a little teary, a little nauseating. and very heartbreaking. it would have been better i suppose if the fetus was still alien-like, and the mother was completely nonchalant abt the procedure. but it was a 23 weeks old baby boy, fully formed, have skin, nails, and beginning of hair. the youngest we can save a neonate is 24 weeks old, so it's just shit luck to miss out on 1 week. plus the mother cried buckets, from pain and attachment.

so...thats something you should not want to do. especially if the fetus is pretty far along. it'll be like labor but without the rewards. dont have sex. keep your junk in the zip, or keep your thighs close. or least, for the love of God, use a condom. or pill.

and males, if you do the deed, see it through the end. gynae brings out the extreme feminist in us, and you've no idea how violent the students nurses especially would react against you.

here's to teleute, may she stays away tomorrow.

2008-06-01T21:14:00.002+08:00

placenta is super slimy

you know those adverts for baby noises ringtones? have you ever wondered which idiot thought of that? and if there are actually ppl out there who downloaded them?

baby crying is not cute. do you know that babies cant differentiate their cry from another baby? and if one is in distress the others will react sympathetically? which is pretty cool in the biological evolution perspective. but not when you're stuck in a nursery for 8 hours and have no idea what to do to make them stop.

also it doesnt help that everytime i have to feed them, there's always a suspicious or angry look on their face.

in other babies fact, whoever says that newborn babies smell good are lying. they stink. they smell of egg. weird. and oh yeah, baby girls, and this i mean at a few days old, are capable of getting menses. thats right. babies menstruate. and NO i'm not lying.

2008-05-23T23:30:00.001+08:00

luckily unlucky

at last i ended my paeds postings. not that i dont enjoy the experience, but having nothing to do, or rather not allowed to do most things, except play with the children and babies was extremely disconcerting especially when the previous attachment was hard to even get a breathing space. but hey, it was fun. so far i taught one kid how to thumb wrestle, abt 4 how to give flying kisses, and one to hide under a blanket before jump out yelling in a bid to scare ppl.

oh yeah, i'm definitely renting kids next time ;p

plus there are stories and scandals, and really, what hospital is complete without ghost? i still miss my adam though.

another thing that was prevalent since that lunch at baroque was wedding and marriage. weewee started it with her 'oh my cousin getting married really soon comment' and soon everywhere i turned it's all about weddings! i just missed a bridal gathering on fri for my sec classmates, where 2 are getting hitched, and 1 is getting engaged. even in the hospital, students and staffs are discussing about bf and who's getting married really soon, and what are the best companies to use for catering, costume bla bla.

so my question after all the congratulations are cleared is

"WHY????"

am i the only one who feels that these ppl are too young? we're only 22 after all. what happen to seeing the world, travelling, experiencing the exotic? what happen to setting up a stable base and actually achieving something of merit before settling down?

it's so freaky. you know what comes after marriage. no matter how much we say later, children will happen. are they ready, really ready? cos i met a lot of young parents in the ward, and they're mostly clueless. and scared.

let's see how they react to pregnancy tomorrow in obstetric.

i feel like such an anomaly for not even being interested in any guy while others are busy nesting.

"pretty girls and no boyfriends? bluff one! unless you're a lesbian?!"
-PRCP student in ward

2008-05-18T20:58:00.002+08:00

stealing adam

i dont know why but having a very close brush with death leaves one euphoric. i'm still giggling over mine. i think maybe it's the relieve that you get to live to see another day that floods your system with endorphin. make you happy and feel that life is worth living. precious self-preservation skills.

today as i was stepping into the car, i accidentally stepped on the accelerator, and if not for the handbrake, there would have been a very serious accident. or even death, considering there was a parked car directly in front of me.

in some part of my mind i'm kinda freaked out about this but outwardly, i'm still highly tickled by the pure terror look on my instructor's face.

but hey, at least he let me drive all the way to hougang today :)

2008-05-11T22:01:00.002+08:00

call me paranoid

but i sincerely honestly hope it's just me thinking too much cos the otherwise would just freak me out.

2008-05-08T21:57:00.003+08:00

let's talk about my day

woke up in a funky mood. such low dip in endorphin and serotonin that i couldnt care less that the time was 7.40 am and i'm still staring at my pillow. at least i was not late for class but did tripped on the stairs on the way. thought to self, this aint gonna be a good day.

how true.

a teacher blatantly insulted our, MY, mathematical skills. at the same time shake and jumble up a solid foundation built up by someone whose skills i trust more. it's extremely frustrating to hear "no thats not the answer" when your calculations are correct no matter which numbers she threw at you. i was ready to shove the i/v spike up her nose at every condescending "no". doesnt help that it's making me feel stupid. at the end of the day, she realised that the question was incorrect. thanks a lot.

driving! a test for the self-preserving reflexes. ever heard of fight or flight? in my case it was flight. which equals to taking both my legs off the clutch and accelerator. which cause the car to violently stall. in the middle of the road junction. at green light. when i was executing a turn. (cue: a very long lecture frm the instructor on why i should NEVER do that again and the rationale against repeating said act) so the lesson continued. i still have no idea when is the so-called biting point, how much is just enough pressure on the accelerator when starting off. this was when he pointed out the accelerator meter and how i cant drive above 1.5/2km/hr yet. which meant i spent my time watching the accelerator instead. (cue: covering of the accelerator meter and a long lecture on how i should listen to the engine instead of staring at the meter because it'd mean immediate failure as i dont have an extra eye to watch the road now.) and we continued on again and somewhere along the way we had an argument abt the depth of clutch that i'm pressing which of course makde me lost my concentration and cause us to once again stopped violently. (cue: another long lecture that apparently i'm feeling nervous and scared and why i should cease. also out came a walking stick to help me gauge how much i should release/press on the stupid pedal.) hey at least i'm really good at turning on the engine now. so we end with him confirming my test date (230808, 1145hr) and saying i can definitely pass and me countering his certainty of such statement after an hour of driving debacle (cue: last long lecture on there's no point of him lying to me, not earning him extra money and smthg abt not wanting to cont letting the gahmen take our money).

it was an exercise not for the faint hearted.

this is a pretty long post. but one more lesson learnt today. by having 1 grp member absent, we managed to complete half of a project. by alienating both of them, we actually got an assignment piece out worthy of a teacher's praise and singleton. so..should this continue?

still feeling pretty down. and normally, as you'd know, i think this is stupid and a waste of time, but today, i think i'll give in to my thursday blues and just wallow for a bit.

a new favourite frm my chemical romance.

Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know

That if you say
Goodbye today
I'd ask you to be true
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

-Cancer, MCR-

2008-05-04T01:53:00.002+08:00

3 wasted years

i'm pretty much a now person. instant gratification over long term satisfaction. the future is not set in stone and the past is not smthg i bother with much. unless of cos it's some really important matters. like passwords and lessons. i dont really pay much attention to unimportant stuffs. probably explain why i asked spiderman the same qsn thrice wo recalling his ans at anytime half hour after i got the reply. kinda sad when you have to go "wait dont dump those, you'll want it when you're older and want to look through your life."

bleah.

went to home club for the indie night with teeny and far-out. kinda ok. loud. some gd tunes but cant hear the lyrics properly because of the extreme decibel, which is a pity cos some of the songs are original compositions. it was an interesting experience really. nothing there is not vibrating. at one time i was paying more attention to my vibrating jeans than the band! :) there's abt 3 great band that i saw and one irritating mat band (feedback dude! feedback!!)

now to the gd part of the day: i met my old classmates on the train home! still the same old JQ and YL and GC and Z. miss them lots. best part is he's there. he's there. after gdness know how many years, he's there. wow. he's like there and talkable and i know where he'll be too. i'd get lost en route again if i can end up at the same place again.

a lesson learnt tonight: i GREW taller!

2008-05-02T19:46:00.003+08:00

it's nothing really but i just hafta brag

*picture deleted cos i dont know blacking out but basically i got my PDL and passed all my theory tests!*

ta-da!!! :D

and i'll be behind a set of wheels this coming monday too! so if you here a spectacular crash story...

no it wont be me! :)

2008-04-30T20:14:00.002+08:00

i'll miss you when you're gone

this post is to commerate today, which is the last day of april. april has lived up to her reputation by being predictably unpredictable. be it weather-wise (thunders and rain early april, blasting sun rays now), event-wise, school-wise, or private-wise, there is always something new that april brought to the table. and let's not forget the birthdays.

so farewell to the month of cheers, tears and pure hardwork. no other month can take your place and you'll always be fondly remembered irregardless of your temper tantrums. may we meet again next year.

and i'll miss you when you're gone.

2008-04-27T20:03:00.002+08:00

things that go bump at night

to one of the coolest guy i've known: for being one of the smartest even without working much, for the sense of humor, for being one of the few who can outwit me, for indirectly pushing me to think outside the box, for always managing to cheer me up, for being a swell team member, for just being you.

happy 22nd birthday!

2008-04-24T18:08:00.003+08:00

in case you're wondering why am blogging quite frequently lately

it's because i have nothing to do for school. it's the end of second week and i still dont feel like i've learnt anything.

aside from starting a bro-volution that is :D

i wish i can see smthg..and have it communicate with me. VERBALLY! there's nothing wrong with me! honest! pick me!!

honestly, i've not learnt anything in sch thats worth academic 2 spit.

2008-04-22T21:07:00.003+08:00

the guy and his moobs

no, it's a different guy, with different set of moobs. and it so happened that he just gave me a long msn lecture on intellectual property rights..afterwhich scolded me for disturbing his IM inject learning! sigh~

so happy earth day everyone. and i cant donate blood because of iron low..again! ok so 9.6 is pretty low but at least it's a point higher than my fictional case study..hmph..who needs iron anyway? test me for other metal compound! i bet i'll have more than adequate!

anyhow, after a half-hearted attempt to look for presents (shopping when you're broke totally defeat the purpose), we went to watch awake! screw the critics and enjoy the complete aerial view of heart transplant and hayden christensen. i mean usually they'll shield you from seeing the procedures but here you get to see the initial incision and hayden christensen, the retracting of ribs and hayden christensen, the beating pericardium and hayden christensen. plus the real heart and hayden christensen, bypass machines, hayden christensen and the final sutures. how many 2nd yrs could actually watch that did i mention hayden christensen??

twice in 2 weeks!

2008-04-20T21:49:00.003+08:00

not for anyone else but me

i realized that after a week of educational pursuit, i have yet to conduct a proper conversation with JH, skinny teeny and Msquare. oh and my cousin.

and i dont like the fact that one disappear when the other is around. and that somehow, someone who is a total bimbo managed to make me feel stupid for knowing my work and studies better.

i think it's going to take time to get used to, and maybe it's somesort of a blessing that sch's only a mth before attachment (again). but dear God pls put me with decent ppl and NOT her. i cant work with ppl i have low opinions of.

and i'd love to color my hair green but i think i'll get barred from the labs so weewee, i think i'll shelf that plan for now.

2008-04-18T18:13:00.003+08:00

curses smurses

i dont know why, but i just love the way he says "shit!". it's sharp, precise, and concise. you just have to hear it to get what i mean.

"You shit! We could smell you coming from miles away!"
- Lorenzo Di Lambertti

2008-04-16T21:48:00.002+08:00

Vultopia - Land of the Neutrals

and the nerds apparently :) but hey, if we're happy who cares right?

so it's mid first week of back to school, and fuh! are there stories and adventures to tell. for example, i've found out why exactly doctors have to stick their finger and a pair of scissors (oh sorry, forceps) into someone's chest first for CT insertion (that is still a gd motivation to be a dr.). i got a kick-ass lecturer for mental health who has an uber sense of humor. i have pharmacology 1 which is scaring the shit out of me so far. i've changed subgrp so now when nadial and L have to stay back for project, i have to too. but i think i spent most of my time being sorta amuse and bemuse by the going ons around me and feeling pretty glad that i got through my adolescent relatively scratch free.

plus there is also the possibility of blood donation next week!

i feel like doing smthg drastic, or at least out of normal routine but i havent figure out what yet. anyone has any suggestions?

2008-04-13T18:48:00.002+08:00

eleven minutes part 2

you know what it's like reading a favourite book..it's like receiving a comforting hug from a best friend.

yesterday i realised that consequences dont mean so much to me now as it used to. things bounced off, and you move on. i suppose it's pretty optimistic view by always having a mindset that at the end of the, everything will be ok.

after all, it is ok for me. i guess i'm pretty lucky in that aspect, which i can see now.

i'd love to do some of the things that others are doing, but seriously, honestly, i do love what i'm doing now. and let's face it, in a few months time, things will get interesting.

so although i'm kinda wary abt working with sick kids and neonates (eek! so small!), everything will be ok.

so bring on the first day of school!

hearts you! brought to you by the good people who packed ruffles sour cream chips :)

2008-04-08T20:55:00.009+08:00

i look damn good with green hair

see, see! :)

so the party is over, the cakes were eaten, chalet cleared, friends seen (yay!) and of cos, presents opened!

i have no idea why but this year is PINK! but i did get some really cool ones (i'll show 3), and also some really dodgy ones which are like 12 years overdue.

presenting.....present no. 1
voted most accurate embodiment of april!

april = spring = flowers! thanks to farah :)

present no. 2
voted as "ah!!! i want a cousin like yours!"

to who else, my cuz! thanx lots toosh! ;) and to everyone else, YES I KNOW IT'S NOT PAINT.

present no. 3
voted as wow-ness

is that a picture of disney characters?
nooo!

it's a pair of slippers!! how cool is that? oh yeah i did also receive a pair of PINK fluffy cinderella bedroom slippers. sadly they arent made of glass..

and finally, my favourite. it more than makes up for the giver not being there, cos seriously, she came through big time.

thank you nadiah!

ok thats enough for now.

sch starts in a few days time. hope the timetable is good..not that it really matter because in the middle of may it's.....back to attachment time! feel my enthusiasm mortals.

nvm..a joke!

a lettuce, an egg, and a tap were running a race. who emerged first?
well the lettuce was a head, the egg was beaten and the tap is still running.

think thats too confusing? how's this?

what is an ig?
an eskimo's house without the loo!

2008-04-06T09:42:00.002+08:00

it's my birthday!

wow..22..seems serious. i feel like i should be spouting terms such as taxes and insurance and what not. well i havent actually said a word yet, given that the house is empty when i woke up, so we shall see later.

thanks to everyone and see you later!

2008-04-04T23:29:00.002+08:00

24hrs left of birthday week

and i havent gotten a costume, decide on where to get and what cake to get, buy a few random stuffs which are random but unfortunately necessary.

blame attachement.

well not that it's been a bad birthday week. did some pretty cool stuff, dressed a really painful and disgusting wound, SERVED MEDS! got hazel, laughed myself silly when dilly got uber punk'd, and passing report in afternoon shift is great.

and doctors! cute one, really nice one, and an arrogant rude young one whose butt i'd love to kick. i did get a perverse pleasure watching him humbled by a nagging pt, so i suppose in some weird cosmic calculation way, we're quits.

i need to get some sleep. it's 0100 and in an hour and a half, it'll be 24 hrs straight which i've been up. probably explains why my head hurts.

anyhow i end this post (which i realised i didnt rant, much) with a painful lesson learnt during the attachment:

old ladies have claws.

2008-03-30T23:40:00.002+08:00

an answer for teeny jeany and i adjective-fied my friends

it's suppose to be great. exciting. and above all, FUN!

attachment is spoiling my birthday week.

but then again, great, exciting and fun might still be around but attachment-ish. like maybe i get to work with hazel most of this week. or not having to deal with 'ask-stupid-qsn'. or score uber cool dressing AND do them well. or just serving meds. one should be positive after all.

still, i wish i'm more excited, and looking-forward-er to my favouritest month of the year. as bryan-ryan states boldy, "it's your birthday!".

by the way, i want certain presents from certain people, and if i tell you what i want, i want that!

ans for teeny:
i highly doubt there's any germs. all things that pass out of your body is sterile after all (theoretically one can consume one's own faeces and drink urine, except that they're waste product with no nutritional properties..STERILE waste product though). therefore i conclude that you can pass around germs through burping or farting.

it's kinda scary cos of how fast you have to move, and maybe cos i'm still green but it never seems fast enough. but once you leave, the world is not fast enough for you.

2008-03-28T18:18:00.003+08:00

v is for silence

thus end the 2 compulsory days in shs. conclusion? i actually miss my ward. yes it is great to not have to deal with other people's bodily functions for awhile, but i think i got used to the lack of sleep, the running around while trying to squeeze a few seconds out just to drink water, the thrill of doing hard dressings, and i suppose the general busy-ness.

having said that, shs was fun, and boy is it good to see the boys again. plus we were posted to meridian primary = wake up at 7am! :D plus dude, the kids are funny. and somehow, the gender identity got exchanged with the boys going "AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" for injections while the girls just suck it up (you go ladies!)

last week of attachment coming up. plus it's april on tuesday!

let the birthday week commence!

2008-03-26T23:21:00.002+08:00

all i want for my birthday is

hayden christensen naked!

failing that, enough white paint to re-paint my room. 3 walls worth. and maybe the ceiling.

i'd really love the first idea though *grinz*

2008-03-24T20:53:00.002+08:00

got the smarts?

i wish i can say i've learnt my lesson and go to bed at a decent hour for morning shifts but i suppose the 2.5 hours of snatched sleep is just seen as another challenge.

staples STO today *double thumbs up*

how the hell can you have 12, TWELVE!!!! medicine to take just for broken humerus and NOF???

2008-03-18T23:39:00.002+08:00

"heyla, i hope your second day was better"

today, i got into a fight with an NG tube, a syringe, and some powdered medicine.

they won.

and to add insult to injury, evidence of their winning was splattered on me. kinda like blood. but rustier in color.

but but BUT, she was really understanding, after i apologised of course. turns out something of similar nature happened to her too. and she let me do it again.

this time, I WON.

so you see peg, i am going to be nicer to my equal next time, but i wont be too upset with the lower ranks if they f*cked up too. :) esp if they too were provoke by the uber narrow tube opening.

now that we've got that out of the way, i think i'm really going to enjoy this attachment *wry smile*